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Today, America is facing an unprecedented crisis, and what's at stake is nothing less than the health of our children, and with it, the future of our country. As long as I serve this nation as first lady, I will bring as much attention as possible to childhood obesity, because I truly believe that if we don't work Fuck Lard Ass and devote more resources toward solving this problem, today's overweight toddlers will become tomorrow's fat fucks.

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